I’ll admit- even though I believe in eating healthy; I do like eating junk every once in a while. And not street food like chaat and vada-pav and kathi rolls, but packaged, artificially-flavoured, mass-produced JUNK from a global snackfood behemoth. The stuff that commies crusade against and Sunita Narain rants about it.
Doritos are my all-time favourites, but since I don’t get them very easily, desi Lay’s is what I usually nosh on (I’ve been dying to use that word ever since I saw it ages ago in Cosmo! Loser alert.). And I have a rule with Lay’s: one MUST NOT consume Magic Masala or Tomato Tango.
Why? Firstly, I dislike packaged foods with dumb alliterations. I know the makers are not angling for the Pulitzer, but seriously? Chips named Magic Masala and Tomato Tango and Peppy Pudina and Punchy Pepper- they’re all just Crass Crap. (See how I used one there? See how annoying it is?)
BUT more importantly- these chips give you vile breath. Especially if there is alcohol involved. Chips are the easiest snack to put on the table at any party, and once people start snacking on them, there’s no stopping. And as the evening progresses; the chips get soggier and greasier, the beer gets warmer and flatter; and believe me, beer+ Magic Masala do not a good combo make! Worse than an onion and tuna sandwich followed by coffee.
Imagine, you’re at a party, you’re having flirtatious fun, the potential love of your life/your soulmate leans in for a kiss- DO YOU REALLY WANT TO SCARE THIS PERSON AWAY WITH MAGICAL MASALA BEER BREATH?
I should think not. THAT is why you should hate this chip like the plague. Unless you want to reallytruly offend or kill someone, in which case, guzzle beer, wolf down them chips, and blow masala smoke-rings in their face.
Just so you know- I have nothing against Pepsico India. They run some wonderful CSR initiatives so more power to them. I just dislike the chip.